The Purpose Series (Part 2 of 3) - How Women are Attracted to Men with Attractive Purposes

"The most attractive aspect of a man to a woman is the emotional experience he enjoys."

"To create an attractive emotional experience for yourself you must have confidence, which is the feeling that you can easily make progress towards your goals and that nothing can stand in your way. Confidence is the firepower you need to feel journey pleasure, and is essentially the feeling that you can get whatever you want, whenever you want, nothing can stop you, and that you are pursuing the best possible thing you can be pursuing"

"Women can also pursue desirable purposes and feel journey pleasure, but their ability to do so is greatly hindered by the fact that they naturally feel much more anxiety than men, which means they naturally feel less confidence, which is why they prefer to vicariously feel a confident man’s journey pleasure, which is stronger and more consistent than hers"

"The larger, more difficult, and more desirable the purposes you pursue, the more attractive you become."

"To provide an attractive emotional experience for women, a man must create an attractive emotional experience for himself first, which requires him to insist on following his own purposes rather than the purposes of others."

"It may sound counter-intuitive, but the more of your thoughts and emotions you dedicate to your own fun and following your own purposes, the more she will feel attracted because your “selfishness” causes you to enjoy a superior emotional experience, which will in turn allow her to vicariously experience a superior emotional experience. "

"It is this solidity, immovability, and ability to draw boundaries to protect their emotional experience that women are seeking in men – they want to make sure the virtual reality game they have stepped into is “safe” and free from threats"

"she must take meaningful steps to gain your validation, and only afterwards can you provide it to her"

"A man feels true joy when his lower desires/purposes are satiated so he can focus his thoughts and emotions on venturing into the unknown to transcend his current reality and create a superior future reality for himself and others"

"the most powerful thing you can provide her is positivity."

"These meta-resources are much more important than any other resource, which is why women are not impressed with guys who buy them things – they don’t care that you can give them a banana, they want the man they feel can protect their current banana stash from thieves and get them infinite future bananas in the future."

"In other words, figure out who she IS. Then, you excite her and build attraction by leading her out of the walled territory into the unknown in a controlled way."

"The desire for the unknown is the source of all human innovation and creativity, but it can also lead to insanity and useless wandering down meaningless and dangerous paths."

"Practically speaking, you can “venture into the unknown” by creating art, consuming art, learning stuff, overcoming your own limitations through self-improvement, solving problems in your life, being curious, growing in your career, or just walking through the world with an open mind and absorbing everything."

"You fail to venture into the unknown by having boring, mundane conversations, by focusing on your lower pleasures like eating and video games, by letting her take the lead and take the conversation into boring and stupid territory, by doing mundane, repetitive things that she has done a million times, and by acting fearful and anxious."

"If you feel the interaction dying or slowing down or becoming boring, it is your responsibility to do something to make it fun again."

"If your only option is to leave her, it is better to do that than to suffer through a shitty emotional experience; once she sees that you are willing to defend your emotional experience at all costs, she will be more attracted to you, more willing to emotionally invest in you, and more willing to let you take the lead the next time you come back and give her a second chance."

"The Ultimate Transcendent Purpose is the creation of a future reality that is infinitely better than the current reality in every way. It is an impossible goal, which means that you will never run out of journey pleasure as you pursue it. "

"Because his desires are ordered correctly and he can fulfill them whenever he wants, the alpha male consistently feels a calm, disinterested, almost humorous, satiation and contentment about most things, the same way you feel most of the time about cheeseburgers. The only desire of the alpha male that is not satiated is the feeling of venturing into the unknown, which is fine, because venturing into the unknown is our highest purpose. "

"„Creepiness” is just emotional over-investment in a particular emotion, and you over-invest in something when you place it in the wrong place in the hierarchy of your emotional experience."

"if you feel a conversation dying you should confidently make some excuse and leave, and then come back later."

"your main purpose when interacting with women should be to find somebody who will help you pursue your purposes and enhance your emotional experience, whatever those may be."

"The deeper, the better. Human beings naturally have a strong desire to discuss deep subjects: God, spirituality, relationships, their beliefs about the universe, their goals for life, their passions, their hatreds, etc... These subjects are "deep" because they are emotionally important to people and difficult to completely figure out, so there is a ton of unknown to explore."

"The most important skill when interacting with women is the ability to read your audience, figure out what they care about, and tailor the emotional experience in a way that will maximally stimulate their emotions."

"You feel confidence when 1) you feel like you are pursuing the best goal you could be pursuing, and 2) you feel you can defeat any threats or challenges on the way to the goal. Confidence is the feeling that you can get whatever you want, whenever you want.they want a guy who FEELS like he can do whatever he wants whenever he wants."

"Or to be more specific, women want to find a man whose subconscious mind feels like there is a clear path to anything he could possibly want, and when women find that man they want to vicariously experience his emotions."

"But if you change your purpose to “approach this woman and have a brief conversation” your subconscious mind may calculate that the possibility that this purpose is likely to be successful is relatively high, so it will energize you to go for it"

"it is not the money that women want most, but the feeling of moving towards a better future."

"The solution to this dilemma is that you must not only venture into the unknown, but you must also yourself feel like the unknown to her."

The Purpose Series (Part 3 of 3) - How to Manage your Ego

"One way to fulfill your desire for acceptance is to find a good group of friends that are solid, reliable people that will not condition their acceptance of you and their friendship on stupid criteria or on you supplicating to them."

"People who feel comfortably accepted do not feel scarcity, and do not act impatiently, impulsively, or in ways that maximize short term pleasure at the expense of long-term gain."

"But if he thinks that he will probably get rejected, he will subconsciously refuse to approach because he would prefer to live in a reality where she MIGHT like him rather than one where she DEFINITELY does not like him. "

"The first step in fixing your ego is realizing that it is good for you to occasionally dissolve and reconstruct your map."

"I also believe that human beings can eventually overcome any limitation, so it is better to face our threats and challenges head-on rather than running from them. "

"You can induce #1 by finding a good group of friends that are solid, reliable people that will not condition their acceptance of you and their friendship on stupid criteria or on you supplicating to them. You can induce #2 by creating a set of goals for yourself, big and small, that you can accomplish to get a feeling of “wins.” You need big, long-term life goals like succeeding at your career, succeeding at your relationships, creating artistic or other creative projects, and solving complex problems. The payoff from these goals, however, take a while to come, so to give yourself the “dopamine” boost to keep going you need shorter-term goals that can exist either inside or outside these big goals"

"Addiction is essentially the feeling that the things we need most (feeling accepted by the tribe, and feeling like you have contributed to the tribe) are unavailable to use so we need to fill that hole with other pleasure. "

"Because our subconscious (and often conscious) minds have difficulty understanding nuance, when we fail we often throw out our entire map rather than fixing the small part of it that was wrong."

"The key to reconstructing your map is to rationally determine what you did wrong and create a rational, articulable plan to fix that part of your map. If finding a solution to the problem is important to you, you should find some time and really think through all the possible things you may have done wrong and what you can possibly to do to fix them."

"You do not feel anxiety and depression because you have problems; you feel anxiety and depression because you see no path in your map to the solution to those problems. As long as you have a plan and you are making steps to achieve your plan, your subconscious mind will feel the dopamine hits that are associated with making progress towards a pleasurable goal."

The Long Game 86: Mental Wealth, Not Having Time, the Decline of Rationality

"The only way to find more time is to remove the unnecessary. Fewer commitments, fewer projects, lower expectations on what doesn’t matter so you can focus better on what truly matters."

Feeling Good: Justin’s Program

"ironically, because as a society we are collectively scared to express how we feel, authentic connection can be a very rare treat for people"

"The big realization for me was that emotions (anger, sadness, fear, joy, excitement) are just a signal. Emotions are neither good nor bad; they are just a form of data."

"I’ve become committed to feeling all my emotions (and not trying to avoid them through escapes like drinking alcohol or distracting myself through media). Also, I’ve tried to develop the skill of being able to name those emotions explicitly with myself and other people (“I feel anger right now”) as a way to drive more deeply into the underlying interpersonal issues (“I think this may be because I don’t feel heard by you in this conversation”)."

Thinking About Quality

"The net result of surrounding yourself with high quality is that friction just disappears. I have no real frustrations with anything I own. They always work as expected and sometimes surprise me because I haven’t thought about the function as deeply as designer. Friction is also reduced because you need to replace items far less frequently. I shop for a shirt once a year, and only get one. Same with pants. I may never buy another watch again."

Reconciling Adventure and Work

"When I think about my life so far, the parts that stick out are the quality time I’ve spent with friends and family and the work I’ve done that I feel is useful or important. That’s really about it. Of course I remember movies I’ve seen, food I’ve eaten, and things I’ve bought, but those are hills compared to the two mountains of quality time and good work."

"Both my finances and my friendships are at good levels, but I know that finances have diminishing returns whereas friendships don’t, so I prioritize friendships."

"No matter what your job is, there is someone who loves that job. Think about that. I’ve met people who love working fast food. What’s so different about them? Just their attitude, and you can change your own. When you are engaged in your work you do a better job and require less outside stimulation (which often costs money). If you “have” to work a job that’s not your dream job, why not work on making it your dream job?"

"Do whatever you want, but do it because you’ve organized your life such that your short term wants align with your long term wants, and expect that it may take years to mentally and logistically be set up to do that."

How to be Competent

"I define competence at the ability to get an undefined task done in an efficient manner. The skills that go into that are primarily time management and ability to learn. Someone who is very competent can take a random task in a field in which he’s not an expert, figure out how to get it done, and then complete it."

"The more you do tasks in subjects with which you’re unfamiliar, the more you’ll learn about how you learn and work."

"It’s a great feeling to know that you can handle anything life throws at you, and you become very useful to other people."

Utility on Investment

"The end result of all of this is that a large portion of my discretionary spending goes to things that will both make my life cheaper and better in the future."

"Every year I have fewer and fewer mandatory expenses, so I can use more of my money to invest further in utility and/or to invest for a return which can perpetually fund my extremely low living costs."

"And when you’re thinking about investing money, think beyond pure financial returns. How could you invest money that would lower your cost of living for years to come? How could you spend it to permanently make your life better? What resource could you buy that would create experiences for you and your friends?"

"Most people’s expenses increase all the time, as if it’s some law of nature that this is how life has to be. But with good capital allocation you can continually increase your quality of life and lower your costs. That’s how you buy freedom, in a way."

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