This Is How To Make Emotionally Intelligent Friendships

"So how do we make more time for friends as an adult? The key comes down to rituals. Think about the people you do keep up with, and you’ll probably find a ritual, conscious or not, underneath it. “We talk every Sunday,” or “we exercise together.” Replicate that. It works. Find something to do together consistently."

"Not only is vulnerability effective, it’s also not quite as dangerous as you think. Psychology has documented the “beautiful mess effect”—that we consistently overestimate how negatively our errors will be perceived. We think we’ll be seen as a moron and exiled to a distant village, but when surveyed, most people see the occasional screw-up as a positive. You make an error and are terrified you’ll be seen as inadequate. But when others make the same error, you’re rarely as judgmental, and it often warms you to that person."

"As long as you feel emotionally safe and you’re getting a positive reception, share more. That’s how you build a deep friendship."

Ask HN: What do you do to recharge after a day of work?

"I have fallen into this cycle many times, my advice for if you are feeling tired is to give up that sort of content for a few weeks. In the time when you would [watch tv, game, browse reddit] just sit on the patio and watch the clouds go by (maybe with a single beer or glass of wine if you are so inclined) and let your mind wonder. It can be excruciating at first as you overcome your addition to mindless content, but after you get over that you can finally let your thoughts be free and actually relax. As you get into the rythm then you can start to shift to more productive activities like going for a walk or cooking or blogging or whatever, but the first step is to break the addiction to mindless content."

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